January
by Sheye Blaze
Sadness & pain mixed in my heart
Two deaths and one break up
Struggling through these things
Trying to remember what is real
A young child killed by abuse
An elderly woman killed by life
My boy gone because of who I am
Trying to remember that this is life
Flowing around me in my grief
Watching it happen, seeing the pain
Ready once again to hide from it
Trying to remember who I am
I want to cry, but I can not here
And no one here would understand
After all I still have a boyfriend
Trying to remember the world is mono
Hoping that you would work through it
That you would not take the negative view
I've felt the withdrawal and denied it
Trying to remember how it was for me
Loving can be so hard, so harsh
Doubting all that I am, ready to be alone again
Muting the pain in routine
Trying to remember how to heal
